Tag: Relationships

It can be frustrating and hurtful to not be answered by people – especially not
being answered by those we are in relationships with. The problem here,
and in all human relations resulting in frustration, is—we forget that
we do not share the other person’s conscious experience and do not know
how that other person is feeling at the moment. Therefore – it is
incumbent upon us to release ourselves of the expectations which caused
us to demand responses—and the types of responses that we desire from
others.If you watch the video above, you may see a contradiction. Contradictions
provide some of the greatest teachings in Zen. In Zen training,
contradictions often present themselves in brief sayings called a koan
in Japanese and a wadu in Korean. In the video above, there is
no Koan or wadu, but you may have noticed the admonishment to “dissolve
your entitlement” while simultaneously being encouraged to tolerate an
entitlement to not answer. So—it seems we are being told to not be
entitled in one case but to be so in another.It is the
entitlement of expecting an answer which diminishes the entitlement of
not having to answer. How can we justify one whilst being against the
other? The answer is in understanding the right of the use of a deed in
one case as opposed to not applying this right in another; namely in
understanding the contradictions inherent in human emotions and the
values we place on limiting them. The key is in understanding
that though there are common states of mind among sentient beings, we
all have separate corpuses, in which different chemistries, cultures and
conditions make our experiences vastly different from those of one
another’s. This is the key to compassion—both for ourselves and others.Mando_________
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