 Hi. Having a tough time? Frustrated? Unhappy? Sad? “Depressed?”There is good in you. You need to remember that; the good far outweighs the bad. You are not your mistakes or your worries. And you can use the good… to make life better–no matter how difficult it is at this moment…. Just take each moment one at a time, when things are difficult, and when you’re having trouble with stopping the negative thoughts or about the next thing… or about the last thing… or the thing that happened yesterday–or 13 years ago… thinking of the past, of the future–of that thing that is bothering you… when you are worrying. How to Escape This (or–How to Turn off The Negative Thinking in Your Head): Just say: “I am in this moment… driving/ working/ finding that thing I need/ dialling this number/ getting dressed/ making toast/ tying my shoe/ doing the dishes; I am not the next moment” Whatever it is you are doing–recognize it, acknowledge it, mention it, focus on it– not on something else! Because that is what we are usually doing when worrying. And remember: Worry is not concern. Worry is negative fantasizing! Say “I am in this moment.” Focus on what you are doing then (or “now”). If that doesn’t work: Try it again, and remember to repeat: “I am not in the next moment, or the next, or tomorrow or next week. All I can do is what I am doing right now.”the one after that. I am not in tomorrow–or yesterday, next week or last week…. I am only in now. And: “I will enjoy this moment.” This is how we be mindful. We take each moment, one at a time, focusing on what we are doing now. And the rest will take care of themselves–because it is all moments, life is…. I hope you have a better day. Begin with better moments. Best wishes, Carl |  Learned, Truths I’ve Realized And Ideas I Agree With:1. You’re going to be judged and misjudged–but your friends are those who can correct their judgement when wrong and see you for whom you really are–at your best and your worst. And they forgive you. 2. I’m a realistic optimist. In my experience, realists are pessimists in disguise–but don’t blame them. 3. You’re going to be misunderstood–even when trying your hardest to be clear; and even when you speak perfectly in your language to those who speak your language–even fluently. 4. All persons—every last one of us–has problems. Some want to solve them, some don’t–and some will make their problems yours. The challenge in life is to recognize the difference between problems, challenges and solutions–and try the solutions you are able to; if you cannot try them, get help with them–others can do what we cannot; we can do what others cannot. This is the reason for friends and partners. 5. Your environments, public, private and professional, are only as good as the mental health & ethics in them. 6. People who argue honestly make good fellow travellers; those who don’t, don’t understand the meaning of fellow traveller. Those who pretend not to argue at all often can’t be trusted to travel with you; you don’t know what they think. Thoughts determine what we do–whether conscious or unconscious. And those unwilling to express honestly, hurt us. 7. The things and people whom you can’t or won’t tolerate by your lights are like gold; they define worth–and thus, your values–to you. 8. “Love is that condition which makes someone else’s happiness a condition of your own.” - Robert A. Heinlein 9. “Love is an art.” - Dr. Erich Fromm 10. You don’t “fall in love”; you grow in it; there is one love; we just express it differently to different people…. – Dr. Leo Buscaglia 11. ‘The Trouble is you think you have time.’ – Siddhartha Gautama, AKA “The Buddha” 12. Changing direction is not giving up–but it can waste your time. Just doing anything is like picking a direction with a blind fold on; it can be the wrong way–and that is necessarily dangerous. 13. You shouldn’t alter your morals or ethics–unless to improve them; you should change your habits and opinions when they are wrong; and disagreement is not insult–it’s just that offense is often taken by people who cannot accept facts. 14. Some friends are with you–in part–because they can’t confront themselves (and you and they might not notice this for a long time); others aren’t your friends at all. They are the ones who benefit at your expense–and disappear after they’ve gotten what they needed. 15. Liars are a hazard–first, to themselves–then to everyone who can be hurt by their mis-truths—and eventually, to the community as a whole, but sometimes people who lie do so accidentally—or apparently. When they recant and tell the truth, they should be forgiven—especially if they can bear true witness in the future and usually had in the past. It is the perpetual liar—and one who lies for his own benefit at the expense of others—who is the enemy. 16. For want to bend, the branch breaks. - CA |
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