The closest to us often stand in our way. Being frank is the solution. Some individuals, and in my experience, certain peoples, see intellectual challenge from friends and family not as loving concern, but as obstacles and violence to their purposes and state of mind. This may be unpopular to say, but in the spirit of being honest, this is my observation. The proof is in the pudding, which I offer to loved ones and people of a certain culture, lovingly, but which they often see as virtual dog excrement.
You may know what I mean. You try to encourage someone you love to see something by way of gentle critique, and s/he sees it as an attack. More egregeous, at other times, you are not even criticizing, but what you say is seen as such, because that is what the listener is used to. It happens among all of us.
It all depends on what one believes. If you believe someone truly loves you-and this is based on actions, not only words-you see what he or she says as positive in some way. If you do not believe in love, do not know what love is, or do not believe a person loves you, everything s/he says is supsect.
I find living here very challenging because I generally believe that Confucianists believe in romance, but to a large extent, do not believe in “love”. They rest the bulk of their trust in “Woo Jung”, instead, and Confucianist norms of respect, rather than equality, which are falsehoods, in reality, in my view; subjective holdovers of the kingdoms period in their history, and supportive of their egos, not the their hearts or the true general good.
On another note, this is why spreading true democracy to premodern cultures always fails, I believe, at least for several decades if not a century. A society has to agree on love before it can agree on governance. People of different faiths and traditions have vastly different understandings of love, if they have true love at all.
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Tell a Friend Who Could Learn with Carl!
Published by
Carl Atteniese / 亜天二恵世万慈道
Thank you for reading. I hope this finds you exceedingly well.
I was born in Brooklyn, in the middle of the NASA Gemini space Program era--which was on course for the Apollo program, aiming to land men on the moon. I watched Neil Armstrong make humanity's first step on the lunar surface. The space program left a lasting effect on me and inspired life-long interest and passion in me.
I was born a little more than 2 years after President John Kennedy was assassinated and a few years before Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated. It was a time of tumult, but better manners, a gentler approach to one another (despite the prejudice being worked on by progressives-) little political correctness, no cancel culture and thicker skin & more opportunity for laughs, a time of fantastic television, austere and fact-based news delivered with brevity and sobriety and much superlatively stylish design. It was the beginning of Star Trek, Star Wars, and a few years on, personal computers, digital watches, hand-held electronic games and movies were still in theaters--not on our TVs--unless they were a little old. People paid more attention to books, from where trust is built with credibility we intrinsically see, competency earned and reflected and facts & expertise. One reason I am not apt to dabble in irrational conspiracy theories is I made many a trek to the local library, to read about stars, planets and astronauts, and to the local bookstore--no longer there--to find my favorite science fiction novels--to either read, or simply marvel at their covers, by Boris Valejo and Frank Frazetta--inspirations that would fuel my later entry into the School of Visual Arts in New York City.
I grew up in Long Island, worked and was educated there until I discovered New York City, then it was on to Boulder Colorado, The Mojave Desert, South Korea and now Japan. I have visited Mongolia, the Philippines, and England and hope to see the rest of the world--and maybe even beyond it.
I teach English as a Second Language, practice secular Buddhism and pay attention to philosophy, astronomy, spaceflight, aviation and human & species rights. I make art, poems and photography--and real friends, wherever I go--when I can.
Maybe our paths will cross; until then, enjoy my writing and pictures, and send me a note. Maybe we can have a cup of coffee someday, somewhere.
Thank you for reading.
I wish you love, peace, joy and enlightenment--sincerely--because you are sentient, and you suffer, too.
Carl Atteniese
Tokyo
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